My Story of Abuse – How I Got Out, How I Recovered & How I Transformed it into a Positive Experience

My Story of Abuse - How I Got Out, How I Recovered, and How I Turned it into a Positive Experience

Many of you know me as a positive & inspiring go-getter.

I feel it in my heart that I am but 8 years ago, I wouldn’t have.

I was a completely different person– I was shy, sheltered, socially awkward, and doubted myself more than I could ever admit. But I decided to change that.

So I slowly came out of my shell, found my voice and eventually pursued the career of my dreams. I was having the time of my life. But my life took a detour.

I got into a relationship with my childhood friend and what I thought was love– was actually abuse. I found myself in the clutches of an abusive man who made sure I couldn’t leave him. And I fought hard and hard until one year later, I finally did.

Here’s my story of how I found myself in an abusive relationship, how I got out, how I recovered and how I turned it into a positive experience.

I am the sum of my past. But that doesn’t mean it should dictate my future. I hope my story inspires you.

TRIGGER WARNING: Domestic violence, abuse, sexual assault, depression, anxiety

WATCH MY VIDEO BELOW OR SCROLL DOWN TO READ THE TRANSCRIPT:

In this video, you’ll learn about things like:

  • How I found myself in an abusive relationship & the red flags
  • How I struggled to leave and how I eventually got out
  • How I recovered from the after effects of abuse
  • How I confronted my abuser
  • How I got back into dating
  • How this experience turned me into a travel blogger

Terms

  • Gaslighting – It’s where the abuser deflects any blame back to you. And as a result, you feel overly sensitive, paranoid, dumb, anything else that causes you to doubt yourself.
  • Traumatic bonding – Similar to Stockholm Syndrome. It’s an intense emotional attachment to the very person who abused you and it’s hard to break. It happens when acts of abuse are intertwined with acts of love. You know your abuser hurt you but you can’t seem to let go.

Resources for Domestic Violence & AbusE

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS VIDEO?

Let you know what you think of my experience and if it’s given you perspective on abuse. Have you experienced an abusive relationship or do you know someone who has?

Transcript

8 Comments on My Story of Abuse – How I Got Out, How I Recovered & How I Transformed it into a Positive Experience

  1. I admire you for being strong enough to stand up for yourself and getting out of that abusive relationship, Jojo. Sometimes, things don’t work out the way we expect them to, but that’s okay. What matters is we move forward in life…and that’s exactly what you did! Cheers to girl power! *wine glass emoji*

  2. Wow, your story is so very inspiring… you are such a beautiful young woman and you nor any woman deserves to be mentally or physically abused by their partners…. But it has made you a very strong and determined young woman and you have now married the love of your life, and are living the dream life… so very well done for you,
    As I was watching your story it brought back many memories from my childhood. I had a narcissistic violent father that always blamed others for his problems and would use his anger and violence to make his point. As a child, I received broken nose, broken ribs where he would kick me with his steel-capped boots just for something like not understanding what screwdriver he wanted. I was 5 yrs old at the time… Bruises and cuts from being whipped with wire cords were a common thing, as was going to bed hungry.
    As I got older the violence got worse but for some reason, my mother stayed with him and so did my sister and I… Like you relate in your video about traumatic bonding.
    Then when I did leave home and got married and have kids of my own, I vowed never to be like him, and never have… I have never abused my wife or laid a hand on my children. My first and second marriages didn’t last though, not because of anything that we did or didn’t do, but I don’t think I was in a good mental state to care for the responsibilities if that makes sense.
    Now I have been alone for 11 yrs looking after my mother who has survived cancer twice and is in the very advanced stages of dementia, which the doctors have said was caused by nearly 45 yrs abuse from my father. He is gone now, dying in 2007… so although the damage is still raw with my sister and me, I am thankful that mum can’t remember any of the years with him.
    I am now engaged to a beautiful Filipina girl and we are waiting for the international borders to reopen after this covid so we can be together.
    Like you I have been spending the last 11 years seeking help and advice for the pain and mental suffering we endured for so long. I feel ready now to take my beautiful wife and know this time we will find happiness…
    I am now 50yrs old with a daughter your age, and I really don’t know what I would feel if I knew her or her slightly younger sister was going through what you have done.
    I have been watching all your youtube videos as I am wanting to start my own blog in the near future, but also see your lifestyle vlogs. Your story has really touched my heart and was a truly inspirational account of how anyone can survive the abuse of partners and come out of it as a much stronger and well-adjusted person.
    You truly are beautiful JoJo not just in looks but as a person. Good luck in all you do, and may you continue to enjoy the love and respect from your husband for many years to come…

    • Wow. I’m sorry you & your family experienced abuse from your father. The effects of abuse can really echo through our entire lives just like what you mentioned. I’m really happy to hear you spent the last 11 years seeking help & advice. I really believe healing from abuse cannot be done on our own. It’s something we have to ask people help from. And one of the first steps is to believe that we are worthy of being helped. And that asking for help is not a sign of weakness.

      Congratulations on getting engaged! I hope you and your Filipina fiance will soon see each other once the covid situation gets better. Thank you so much for your kind words and I hope to hear about your blogging journey in the future!

  3. I want to say so much and at the same time I want to delete all of this, and fold back into denial.

    Nearly a year I have spent in bed avoiding family and friends. I’m fighting hard to come back. I will come back to be the person I use to be. There’s been an incredibly amount of loss in my life. Also, I’ve been in an mentally abusive marriage. I want to start a business and make blogging a part of that business.
    I found you through the research and subscribed because you seemed realistic and genuine. Little did I know you had a story. I don’t know yet what my story will be, but I know finding a purpose and doing something I love is a start.
    Thank you, for sharing yours! ♥️

    • Aww thank you so much Lorie! Even if you don’t know what your story will be, know that you have the power to create it 🙂

      • Thank you for sharing your story Jojo. Your story gives me some hope I’ve been in 4abusive marriages. You’ve given me a lot to think about. You gave lots of great suggestions of things to do like self-care. I don’t self-care but I will try to begin. I spend much time alone at hm. I’m in my 60s. I wrk 10 hrs wk.7 in hm health care & 3 tutoring Spanish. I’m going to try to get out more than for work. Thank you for sharing ❤️

        • Hi Irela, I’m happy to hear that you’re making choices to take care of yourself. I began healing when I started doing that, and even more when I started to explore different activities where I lived. I wish you strength and peace as you move forward 💗 Thank you for sharing yourself too, Irela!

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